Is it bcoz of CNY pressure (family gathering) or I m really getting old?

Suddenly I feel very kan cheong n pressure esp in trying 2 get bak wit Bean n he seems like emm teh emm diu (tak ape attitude). I wanna get bak wit him but not desperate (seriously). Called Bean 2 meet up last sun but he was bz wit work till midnite n I sms him 2day saying wanna meet up but he said dunno yet.

~!@#$%^&*()_+ he think I sit here n wait for him ar. This is so frustrating, when I make effort n he seems like tak ape. wtf

The pressure is I m 30 (in Chinese Calendar) goin 2 b 30 very soon (jz another year) n all almost my frens r married o have plans 2 tie d knot this year o next year. Congratulations to Sook Kien + hubby who will b registering on 12th Feb 2010, on my bithday!!! But me still not stable + breaking up wit Bean. :(

This year, not oni relatives will tease me but MANY frens (some even younger than me) will also tease me not getting married yet n still taking their angpow.

Another prob is my biological clock is ticking faster than few years bak. Lucky no obvious signs of white hairs yet but I sense some wrinkle esp when I smile laff out loud, some gal frens will b very obvious kind n remind me about tat.

I oso wanna have bb b4 I’m 2 old for tat. :p It’s funny thinking few years bak I die die dun wanna give birth bcoz so scared of d pain but now I wan bb coz I’ve seen others r all so cute. I wanna have d feeling of live within me, a small moving hand or feet inside me. It’s really amazing.

Btw, had my facial on Monday bcoz swimming class was postpone to next Monday. Signed up for another RM49 facial for me + Amanda, a RM49 body massage for relaxing n a RM99 for bust firming. Ok, another hint I’m getting older. Will b getting my hair cut on 2molo and Friday will b meeting Sonny, Alice + David. So miss them + all d old Faber crazy time. Sat will get my broadband.

On Monday nite, Winsen came n tok 2 me about his plan n teach me a few things @ Wong Kok Leisure Mall. Initially I wanna bring him 2 Boston o Oldtown located @ Craving Lane @ Leisure Mall. They have a sky of stars with 2 changing colors, blue n purple. Very nice geh. But they close early, still Winsen get 2 c it n wasn’t as excited as I am. I notice d sky of stars when I went dinner wit mom at Boston once n then bring d whole family there once. Wanna share d nice scene wit Winsen geh but he dun appreciate.