Monday, February 1, 2010

I deserve it

I’m moving on. This is d end.

I deserve it (in actual) coz he’s a good guy & my fault doesn’t appreciate him 2 late, after he has NO more special feeling 2 me, after he MOVE ON without me, after he gets BOREDn decide 2 LET GO of me.

I deserve it (2 pujuk myself) coz I shud get a more passionate man.

I was sad, cried, felt heartache coz I do love him (seriously when v r 2gether) n esp when I wanted 2 improve n wanted 2 patch things up, mend bak this relationship. I guess it’s 2 late. I’m sad + worried, esp when it’s near my bday + Valentine’s Day + CNY (where many ppl will ask where’s ur bf n when r u getting married?) I’m a coward.

I wanted 2 meet up & tell him let’s tok about this, wanted 2 tell him I wanna give it another try again coz I dun wanna give up just yet, I hope I can built bak this relationship or grow our feelings 2 b stronger, but he decided otherwise, so I dun wanna can’t force him.

Got dump when I’m GOIN TO BE 30, feels like 2 old 2 b dump n 2 start all over again. Will I still have d energy 2 lose weight? Will I still have d mood 2 make up + tidy my hair? Will I still have d courage 2 go up 2 a stranger 2 say hello? Will I still have d guts 2 say, let’s go steady? Steady of coz but those starting steps r scary.

But I went thru a couple of months without him n I’m doin ok. I m sad now perhaps I realise this is for real or I jz realise I gonna lose him forever.

Anyway, he is really a nice guy. Let’s hope in future he will show more of his care n feeling 2 his special 1. N let’s hope I can b stronger n better n will meet my own destiny, soon.

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